


The Forgiveness of Time

by Pidger



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-19 13:08:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22878208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pidger/pseuds/Pidger
Summary: A series of mostly social interactions/one-shots about the budding friendship between Saru and an eccentric Betazoid. Follows the main storyline and includes other character appearances/relationships. May be explicit in later chapters (there will be warnings).And yes, I found a couple of Discovery's ship schematics and there is indeed a counsellor's office on board so I would presume they must have a counsellor.
Relationships: Gabriel Lorca/Original Character(s), Saru (Star Trek)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. It's starts with six legs

She didn’t mind the night shift sometimes. Those early mornings when the work day was done gave her a pleasant reprieve from the constant obligations & expectations of keeping up appearances with the rest of the crew. Don’t get her wrong - they were nice people & she got along with most (I mean, blending in was part of her training) but she wasn’t here to make friends. She probably wouldn’t get the chance to be here long enough - not with the war. Hell, it was a miracle she had gotten assigned to a ship at all. 

The doors hissed behind her as she entered the mess hall. She scanned the room, ready to be greeted by the expected emptiness, when her eyes landed upon an unusual face for this time of morning. First Officer Saru sat in the far corner by the window, pouring salt into his tea. Though she’d say it was less sitting & more like perching - a strange dichotomy of elegant striking presence and the constant uneasy readiness to bolt. He was quite aloof & kept mostly to himself so she rarely had the opportunity to interact with him even though they kept similar schedules and she was often on the bridge. She strode across the room to the replicator, ordering a small salad and a strong coffee. Shirking her original plan for a solitary meal she veered right towards the table where the senior officer sat. 

“Good morning, Commander. May I sit here?” She gestured with her free hand at the chair opposite him.

He looked up from his PADD, a little startled at being spoken to unexpectedly, “Of course, Counsellor.” He bowed his head politely, keeping his eye on her as she sat down. Once she quietly began sipping her coffee he returned his attention to his PADD. They had rarely spoken outside of work so he found it a bit odd that she would ask to sit with him in a relatively empty cafeteria. However he had gotten the impression that she liked to assess those around her - a similar habit to his though he assumed her motivations differed. She was the ship's counselor so perhaps that was all it was. 

Mind back on the work at hand, Saru furrowed his brow, frustrated at the lack of progress. They had encountered a peculiar species of insect during their last planetary exploration that seemed to emit some kind of chemical when threatened though none of the xenobiologists could figure out what the effect or underlying purpose was.

Kalista watched his increasingly frustrated expression from under her dark lashes. “What’s on your mind, Commander?” 

In the silence, Saru had nearly forgotten her presence and took a moment to register that she had spoken to him.

“Oh! We encountered an unregistered insect on Dallas IV. It releases some kind of chemical but the xenobiologists are unsure of what it’s for. I used to be a science officer so I thought I’d take a look but I can’t seem to come to any conclusions either.” 

“Mind if I take a look?” Kalista reached out her hand for him to pass the PADD. 

Saru considered for a moment then obliged. She was quite direct & he didn’t always know how to respond to that.

The Betazoid scanned the information on the device and snickered to herself.

“What is it?” Saru cocked his head to the side ever so slightly, puzzled by her amusement. 

“I believe it’s an undiscovered relative of what’s commonly known as the Lucy Bug.”

Saru’s expression remained fixed - he had no idea what she was referring to.

“No, I suppose the academy never taught things like that,” She mused, “The males & females emit different chemicals across proportionately great distances. Separately they do nothing but when combined they create a hormonal effect in the animal which signals to them that there’s a mate nearby and it’s time to reproduce. The males often release it when threatened as a final attempt to reproduce before death. In most humanoids the combination of both sex’s chemicals has a strong psychedelic effect so they’re a popular commodity in the underground markets. You seem to have picked up a few males of the species.”

She handed the PADD back to him as he was clearly trying to formulate a professional response to a potentially unprofessional discovery, “I can swing by the xeno lab after this and let them know if you’d like.” She offered. She couldn’t imagine the timid Kelpien navigating a conversation of this nature successfully.

“Thank you, I’ll let them know to expect you. They will be glad to finally have an answer to this…. mystery.” He sent off a quick message to the officers in the lab, “I didn’t know you were so knowledgeable in insect life.”

Kalista didn’t need to be a telepath to know what he was trying to determine, “I’ve lived in many places & come across a wide variety lifeforms.” A truthful but abstained response.

Saru remembered seeing her personnel file when they first boarded - the unbelievably extensive list of qualifications & specialities juxtaposed against a seemingly dull assignment record mostly on Earth. She had joined Starfleet young like many others so he wasn’t sure when she had had the time to travel.

“Did you not grow up on Betazed?” It was unusual for him to ask the crew about personal matters but his interest was a little piqued.

Kalista shook her head, “No, I’ve barely been there.” 

“Oh, I see.” He didn’t know much about the telepathic species but he was pretty sure that they didn’t venture from their peaceful homeworld too commonly.

Kalista could see him restraining his curiosity & questions. She rarely discussed her personal life but indulging the First Officer might encourage him to open up to her & winning the favour of your superiors was always a good tactic.

“No, it’s not common among Betazoids to travel much but my parents were… eccentric. The longest we ever stayed anywhere was probably 1-and-a-half Earth years so I got to experience a good variety of things before I joined Starfleet.”

It was a direct response to his silent question & Saru was a little unnerved that she could read him so easily. However he knew it was unnatural for Betazoids to repress their abilities meaning the surface emotions & thoughts of others would often slip through unintentionally. 

She thought about reassuring him that he rarely projected his thoughts but that would probably have only spooked him more. It was tiring to constantly block out everything & frankly she couldn’t be bothered trying to right now. Not least of all because it was interesting to understand the Kelpien better.

“What was it like, moving around so much as a child?” His question stirred her from her own thoughts. There was no judgement in his inquiry - only inquisitiveness - but she wasn’t entirely comfortable with the nature of the conversation. Looks like the tables had turned.

“I enjoyed it. I don’t like staying in one place long.” It wasn’t a lie, but whether that statement was always true or became true due to her experiences she couldn’t remember anymore.

Saru sensed an air of unease in her words. Not just at the topic of conversation but on a deeper level. It almost reminded him of his own ever present flight response - like she was always ready to run away from something. He wondered if he would be able to find out for sure but shrugged it off for now.

Kalista took a quick sip of her coffee before pivoting the attention back around, “What about you, Commander? What was it like growing up on Kaminar?”

People rarely asked him about his homeworld except under research circumstances. Partly because they were afraid to pry due to the nature of his species and - he suspected - partly because they weren’t all that interested. Though the Counsellor appeared to gaze at him with genial interest from across the table.

“I presume you know the basic details of my species?” She nodded, “Well, when the fear wasn’t at the forefront of our minds it was actually… almost serene. Obviously the nature of our existence was rather unpleasant but my homeworld itself was quite beautiful. I often miss the red sands beneath the mountains & wading in the ocean.” 

Kalista was a little surprised to hear such a personal response from the usually distant First Officer. Perhaps he was misjudged. She smiled & hummed thoughtfully in reply.

“Sonic showers must be a real disappointment, huh?” She quipped.

He let out a wonderful unexpected laugh, “Yes, they are.”

They sat for a moment in comfortable silence, finishing their drinks which had by now gone rather cold. 

“Now unfortunately I must go and finish a few reports,” He began to gather his things then added thoughtfully, “but thank you for the company, Counsellor.” He smiled at her.

“You’re very welcome, Commander.” She returned the friendly gesture and watched him leave the mess hall.

 _What a peculiar man_ , she thought to herself.


	2. All these flavours and you choose salt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite my obsession with Star Trek from childhood, I never even read fanfiction in my teens yet at the ripe old age of 25 I decided to write it. A little salt for the wound.

It was the end of another long shift on the bridge filled with back to back battle simulations. Captain Lorca was in sour spirits for whatever reason with Commander Landry mimicking his mood as usual. All in all, nobody was in good cheer that day, despite her best efforts to subdue the captain as best she could. When it was time to leave, he was the first out the door & she sighed exasperatedly when he was gone. Filling in a few report details before clocking off she ended up one of the last from that shift to leave & entered the turbolift on her own. Just before the doors closed, however, a long slender arm intercepted them. The First Officer stepped inside. 

“Counsellor.” He nodded at her in acknowledgement. 

“Commander.” 

She waited for him to issue the destination of the turbolift first.

“Mess hall.” He commanded. As expected.

Within a few seconds the turbolift opened and they exited in stride.

“If you would care to join me, Counsellor, I would like your advice on a particular matter.” 

This was the first time she could remember him asking for her counsel, “Of course.”

The mess hall was reasonably busy today but not as loud as it could be. They meandered over to the synthesisers together - She opted for her usual black coffee & some avocado toast to replenish her energy and surprisingly Saru ordered the same coffee but with a fruit salad & a shaker of salt. They weaved through the occupied tables towards an empty pair of seats tucked away in the far corner. When they were seated & settled, Saru sprinkled some salt into his coffee, took a sip & then sprinkled in some more. She watched his strange habit, raising an eyebrow.

“Is that a Kelpien preference or a personal one?” 

“Both. A considerable portion of the Kelpien diet comes from the salty waters of the oceans - including several varieties of our native teas - but I’m the only one to drink coffee as far as I know so I would say this particular taste is personal.” 

“Hmm,” She was silent in deliberation before swiping the salt from the table and sprinkling a little into her own steamy drink. 

Saru gaped a little in shock. Unperturbed, Kalista lifted the mug to her lips with both hands and took a sip. As the earthy bitterness and salt mingled on her tongue a tickle of regret crept in at her brazen experiment. Though quite terrible, it wasn’t as intolerable as expected and so she kept her expression neutral.

“How… is it?” Saru asked hesitantly but she caught a glint of amusement at the corners of his mouth. 

“Not as bad as I thought but I think I’ll leave this for your enjoyment in future.” She smirked playfully in return.

The Kelpien chuckled behind his own mug as he drank, “You’re the first person to try that. I commend your bravery.” 

This one has wit, she noticed, “Bravery or foolishness?”

“Perhaps a little of both.” He mused, setting her off in a subtle giggle this time.

They ate for a short while, comfortable contentment between them. When he saw that she had finished her toast he spoke up again.

“The matter I wished to discuss, Counsellor…”

She nodded for him to continue.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed the crew can become quite tense on the bridge sometimes, particularly when the Captain’s…. Expectations are especially high. As First Officer it is my duty to ensure all aspects of the crew’s wellbeing. I wanted your suggestion on how I can perhaps help their morale on a day like today.”

While she was the ship’s counsellor & crew morale was her primary duty, she was grateful when command staff took responsibility for their people’s happiness as well & she was glad to see the Commander’s compassion. She lowered her voice so she could speak freely for his ears only.

“Look, we all know the Captain is a… fiercely driven individual which can sometimes make for a difficult leader to serve under - especially in a time of war. The crew is strong & can handle him but at the end of the day everyone wants a little appreciation & reassurance. You can give them that when Lorca doesn’t. Kindness goes a long way and I suspect comes naturally for you anyway. Use it as a strength in your command.” 

Saru pondered her words as he finished off the blueberries in his bowl which he had saved for last. He was glad to know that someone thought of him as kind & that they viewed it as a positive trait against the stark contrast of his Captain.

“Thank you, Counsellor. That is helpful advice.” 

“Please, Kalista is fine. I think we surpassed formalities when I poured salt into my coffee.” 

The humour instantly returned to the air as Saru chuckled again, “Then you must call me Saru.”

“Pleasure as always, Saru.” She shot him a brilliant smile & he replied in his own kind.


	3. Predator

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can hear the Aldean instrument featured here in Star Trek: Next Generation, S1E16 at around 27:30.
> 
> In case you somehow have not have seen season 2 yet, ***SPOILER ALERT*** for the next sentence.  
> Cross my heart I honestly predicted the predator plot twist within the first few episodes and had this conversation imagined before anything was confirmed so... here it goes.

Her last patient of the day had just left, along with her assistant. Kalista lay on the couch in her office lobby, legs up over the arms & finishing off the daily report when there was a hiss behind her and accompanied by the soft beat of footsteps on carpet. She was surprised to see her Kelpien friend standing near the entrance.

“Hi, Saru.” she greeted him between dreary lines of mental evaluations, “What can I do for you?”

“Hello, Kalista,” He surveyed the unfamiliar surroundings the way a hare surveys a field, “You know, I’ve only been in your office once before, for the preliminary assessment when we first boarded.” It was said an almost whimsical statement as he strolled around the room, stopping before a large Ficus Lyrata in the corner. It was a fraction taller than him & he traced its precariously narrow trunk with his clawed fingers, gazing in wonderment.

“I didn’t know you like plants.” Kalista sent off the report with a sigh that released the last of her work day’s tension and put her PADD down on the table beside her. 

“I do, very much.” His fingers lingered on the thick glossy leaves before he noticed something in the consultation room. Kalista followed him through the doors to see him gently caressing the rigid upright stems of the plant next to her chair. 

“This one is quite peculiar.”

Kalista leaned up against the doorframe, watching him with amused affection, “Computer, lights off.”

The darkness never had a chance to envelop the room as the stems of the plant immediately began to pulse with a magical glow that cast a green-blue haze in the surroundings. Saru ran his fingers up & down the stiff leaves, watching the light react to his touch, following his movement. He gasped in awe at the beauty.

“It’s an Andorian Sansevieria. I keep it here because it seems to be good at lifting people out of a sullen mood.” She sauntered over to the plant as well, fondling the leaves between her own palms.

“I can see why. It’s beautiful… I’ve never seen one quite like it.” Saru’s gaze was fixed to the luminous plant. 

“They’re quite hard to come by. A friend of mine from the academy is Andorian & he gave it to me before my first assignment. He knows I’m very partial to anything that glows.” 

At that Saru seemed to consider something but did not voice it and she did not ask. 

“So what was it that you came here for, Saru?” She rustled him from his contemplation.

“Oh… yes. I came to see if you were finished for the day & cared to join me for dinner.” Over the last few weeks they had been sharing meals together semi-regularly, enjoying quiet conversation mixed in with occasional banter. Kalista found her dynamic with the stately First Officer quite unique compared to her other relationships on the Discovery. Perhaps because he had almost never sought her out for professional counselling she felt she didn’t have to keep up pretenses around him so she found his company refreshingly easy.

“Sure, let’s go.” She turned to leave for the mess hall, waiting for him to exit before her so she could lock up. Yet a flash of reluctance crossed Saru’s brow & he didn’t make to follow her, “What’s wrong?”

He seemed indecisive about something but eventually spoke, though with some trepidation making her realise that he must have a personal request on his mind. In their time she had noticed that he tended to freeze up when asking for favours, no matter how small. He was equal parts humble and insecure. 

“The quiet here is quite pleasant & the mess hall tends to be very busy at this time…” Sometimes she wondered how he became First Officer with such a tendency to pussyfoot in private.   
“We can stay here but to be honest, I wouldn’t mind a shower & to get out of this uniform. How about we go to my quarters?”   
Besides the Captain for professional matters, no one onboard the Discovery had ever invited Saru into their quarters so he was instinctively taken aback by the brash suggestion. The other part of him, though, was flattered that she felt comfortable to invite him into her personal space, “That will be suitable.” He nodded and led them out of the counselling office. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t intensely curious to see how her character would be reflected in her private room.

Kalista’s quarters were not far & ironically they were next to Saru’s, though this is the first time either will have seen the other’s. Kalista strut through the door & dropped her PADD on the bedside table. Saru dithered at the entrance, watching her gather some clothes from her drawers. 

“Make yourself at home, I’ll be back in a minute.” She disappeared into the bathroom, casually leaving him alone in her quarters as if he’d been there a million times before. Over the years, Kalista had learned that the best way to combat someone’s social nervousness was to simply act as if it wasn’t present. Coddling it would only justify it in their mind & she didn’t have time for useless interactions like that anyway.

As the sonic shower buzzed to life in the bathroom, Saru studied the space he found himself in. They were as large as his - standard for command staff - but the configuration was different. Directly to the left was a double bed beneath the rabbit-toothed windows & against the opposite wall a couch and two armchairs around a low glass coffee table. At the far end of the room was the combined study and dining - two white chairs encircling a simple grey table. The decor was standard issue greys & whites but he was surprised to find an assortment of odd trinkets & plants dotted around the room. Perhaps most astonishing of all was the space opposite her desk as it was home to a small assortment of musical instruments. Some he recognised - like the piano keyboard & Vulcan lute - while most he did not. One device looked particularly alien among the collection. It consisted of an outer ring a couple of inches thick. It was about the diameter of 1.5 of his hand spans and was divided into two sections. A Y-shaped bridge joined the two parts with what seemed like a handle at the forked end. It appeared as if it could have almost been a weapon had the edges been sharp. He prodded it with a thick finger ever so gently but it remained silent. He pushed another part of the disk & then tried touching it with both hands simultaneously but the only sound he could hear was the constant humm of the ship & soft shuffling from the bathroom as the doors opened. Kalista emerged and Saru quickly gathered himself and stood straight, suddenly concerned that she might find offence at him touching her things without permission. He looked over to gauge her reaction and noticed she was no longer in uniform. She wore a black tank top which hugged her slight torso & full-length dark harem pants. She’d taken out the sharp metal pins that normally held up her chestnut hair so that it now fell in curls below her chest - something Saru hadn’t expected as he had always assumed her hair was shorter, having only ever seen it up.

“It’s an Aldean song disk.” She gestured at the instrument Saru had been examining.

“Oh… does it turn on somehow?” He was relieved that she didn’t mind his curiosity getting the better of his manners.

Kalista tittered to herself & strode over to the musical collection, taking the disk & seating herself cross-legged on the floor. Saru awkwardly sat down opposite her, folding his long lanky legs in as comfortable a manner as he could muster.

“You have to feel the notes in your mind,” she began, “It responds to thought & emotion.” She held the instrument firmly by the handle and the side then, as she spoke, the pads on the ring lit up in every colour of the spectrum the most a beautiful melody began dance through the room like liquid. It was the sound of tranquil drones & gentle chimes yet with a deeply sombre quality she could never shake from the instrument. After a few moments lost in the reverie of her play she stopped abruptly and thrust the disk at Saru. He was jerked from his trance before he could compliment her exquisite sound. 

“You try.” She positioned the instrument in his lap so he could hold it correctly, “Focus on the emotions you feel right now & hear it as a sound in your head.”

He placed his hands dubiously on the device & closed his eyes to focus. She watched his forceful concentration as he experimented but failed to produce a pleasant sound. He looked up at her, brow furrowed with frustration. 

“Don’t try so hard,” she chuckled, “Just let the sound flow out of you, as if you were singing or even just talking.” 

She didn’t know Saru could sing but that analogy helped him. A few minutes later he had the instrument emitting a somewhat disjointed but wonderful tone nonetheless. His melody was a little quicker than hers with a gentle spring in the notes. The sound reminded her of the way a Bajoran gazelle moved, which she thought an appropriate reflection of the graceful yet flighty nature of the man before her. 

He had a grin on his face this time, clearly pleased with himself & passing the instrument back to her. 

“You’re a quick study,” Kalista replaced the disk atop the pedestal, “You can come practise anytime.”

“Thank you, that was quite enjoyable. Perhaps I can play it as well as you, one day.” He bowed his head coyly. 

Kalista couldn’t help but be flattered by the compliment but she didn’t like to indulge them. She just smiled a little & made her way over to the synthesiser, “What would you like?”

Saru stood up as well, straightening out his uniform, “Sushi & green tea?”

There was no need for them to eat the same thing but she was happy with his choice & decided to join him, with one minor alteration, “Do you drink alcohol, Saru?” 

He knew it was common for other species to drink but he was rarely around it, “No, thank you.” 

Kalista shrugged and ordered their meals, adding a mug of synthehol sake for herself & salt for Saru. He hadn’t heard of sake before and would admit to knowing next to nothing about alcoholic beverages though judging by the smell of it, a mug did seem excessive.

“Biology or personal preference?” She asked as she brought the trays over to the small grey table where Saru was already seated. 

“I’ve been told Kelpiens can have alcohol but I’ve never tried it.” He pulled his tray closer & shook a little salt into his tea.

“May I ask why, out of curiosity?” Kalista picked up her chopsticks with a practised grace & picked up a slice of sashimi, popping it gently in her mouth while Saru thought to himself.

“I don’t want to do anything that could affect my ability to complete my duties as an officer.” His response was professional and polite but she didn’t buy it. Synthehol could be counteracted instantly with an anti-intoxication agent & there was no way he didn’t know that. She continued to stare expectantly into his turquoise-blue eyes, waiting for him to continue. 

Saru didn’t like revealing himself and he felt like her intent gaze was penetrating far deeper than he was comfortable with. He couldn’t help but relent as her patient silence pulled the rest of his thoughts out of him.

“I don’t like not being in control.” He admitted & was relieved when she seemed satisfied with that answer, “So, what’s your diagnosis, Counsellor?” He wanted to clear the air with a little banter but he was also curious to know her thoughts as her face never betrayed a thing. 

“There is none. You’re a First Officer, the only one of your species in Starfleet & spent half of your life being told you were prey. I would be surprised if you didn’t fear losing control.”

“My species is prey.” He corrected cordially.

“That’s a matter of perception.” Kalista shrugged and popped another slice of sushi in her mouth.

“Excuse me?” A feeling of offense rose up in his throat. No one had ever dismissed his culture or experiences before.

“Okay,” She challenged, “Tell me why your species is prey.” 

He clicked in annoyance “Our hierarchy on Kaminar is binary. There is only the Great Balance of predator or prey and for as long as our history recalls Kelpiens have been bred to-”

“Tell me the biological facts, Saru, not the stories.” She cut him off though her tone remained neutral. 

“Very well,” He clicked a little more as his irritation grew, “Our senses are all heightened to detect the slightest sign of danger, we are fast and strong so we can run away and most of all we can sense the coming of death.”

Kalista chewed silently for a moment while Saru stroppily consumed a piece of his own sushi, looking thoroughly displeased the whole time. 

“Oooor your senses are heightened to easily track prey, you’re fast and strong so you can chase and take it down. As for sensing the coming of death, from what I’ve heard you mostly sense general danger or the death of others which would be a useful ability to foresee the success of a hunt but also to know when to back down - an important trait that even the most fearsome predators of our galaxy have. If I hadn’t known about your culture, I would have assumed your species to be the predator race.”

Saru stopped eating and considered her highly unconventional view, mouth parted like a gasping fish and trying to formulate an adequate response though none came to him.

“I… see the logic of your statement but alas it doesn’t make it true.” The insult he had initially assumed died down a little, to be replaced by an incredulousness that anybody could think of him as predator. He decided to take it as a compliment, albeit an unusual one.

“Truth can only be perceived through one’s own eyes so it is often more subjective than we like to believe. The important thing is that we choose the perception that serves us best.”

“That is a wise statement.” The puzzled Kelpien acquiesced.

“It is,” Modesty was a game she didn’t play, “And _I’ll_ choose to perceive you as predator rather than prey. I think it suits you better.” She winked and shot him a mischievous grin. Her black eyes stayed keenly on his ocean ones as she popped another piece of sushi in her mouth.

The restrained expression that overcame Saru’s face suggested that if he was physically capable of blushing, he would, “Thank you… I think?” It sounded like a compliment but he wasn’t entirely sure. Kalista just laughed heartily at his shyness.

They casually chatted the rest of the night while they finished their meals. Saru was a little shocked to notice she had somehow expertly polished off the entire mug of sake while they talked. He noticed a very slight flush to her cheeks and the decibel of her voice was minutely higher but she didn’t seem particularly intoxicated at all. Perhaps the drink wasn’t as strong as it smelled. 

When the night waned, they nodded at each other in farewell & Saru left for his own quarters that he remembered were conveniently just a door down.


	4. Calm before the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit with the Captain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll put out two chapters because this one is upsettingly devoid of our favourite Kelpien. Alas, our leading lady does have interactions with other members of the crew as well.

Another day on the bridge & another increasingly irritable Captain to deal with. Lorca had been working later nights than usual and the lack of sleep combined with the pressure of the recent situation with the USS Glenn had him desperately needing some relaxation. Kalista cleared her post & exited the bridge next to him. When the turbolift doors closed he exhaled a long & agitated breath.

“Deck 8” He growled. 

Kalista glanced at him out of the corner of her vision, raising an eyebrow.

“As Counsellor I could order you to take some downtime but I’d prefer if you could take care of your own wellbeing without me needing to babysit you.” She was the only person on the ship that he’d tolerate such impertinence from and she flexed that allowance regularly though only in private. If any other crew member spoke to him that way he’d be tempted to throw them out an airlock but he and Kalista were a little closer than just crewmates. That and he found her audaciousness alluring.

“There’s no time for rest in war,” He straightened his posture again to appear more assertive though it didn’t fool the petite woman next to him one bit, “ _Though_ … I wouldn’t be opposed to a drink in my quarters later.” He added.

It had been a while since she’d indulged herself as well so she, too, was eager for a little relaxation, “I’ll be there in an hour.” 

His lips curled a just a fraction as he exited the lift, relieved to have something to look forward to that evening.

__________________________________

One hour & fifteen minutes later, Kalista pressed the chime for Captain Lorca’s quarters & strutted through the threshold as the heavy metal doors hissed open. Lorca was sitting at his desk reading on his PADD when she entered. He glanced up to take in her appearance. Her hair was still pinned up but with a few loose strands framing her oval face and she had donned a sleeveless dark grey knee-length dress that enveloped her feminine curves. The neck was high revealing nothing though it would not remain so all night. She had very minimal makeup on - just a little mascara and eyeshadow to accentuate her black orbs - but she hardly needed it. Serving on a starship she rarely had the opportunity to make herself so presentable but it was a fun role to play when she made a personal visit to the Captain. 

Being senior officers, romance & sex were both a little difficult to find as they had to keep up appearances with the crew and fraternising with lower crewmen was technically against rules and regulations. They both had separate arrangements with some of the more discreet people aboard but their own mutual dalliances were the least complicated. No need for courting and games - just a bit of company and noncommital sex.

They exchanged greetings as Kalista waltzed over to the cabinet across the room where he kept his liquor - the good hard real stuff. 

“Grab the Cabernet on the middle shelf. I feel like wine.” He returned his attention to his PADD, quickly tying up any loose ends in the reports so he could retire work for the evening. 

Kalista had procured two wine glasses and the bottle he requested, setting it up on the low table next to the couch. She sat down and kicked off her heels, pouring some liquid garnet into each vessel.

“Why do you bother wearing heels if you’re just going to take them off as soon as you get here?” He joined her on the couch and reached for his wine glass, savouring the light bitterness and burn of the alcohol as it caressed his throat. 

“Formality?” Kalista mused with a smirk. Lorca scoffed.

They enjoyed their drink in silence for a while, both relishing how the tightness in their minds and muscles dissipated a little more with every sip, pouring themselves more when the glass ran dry.

“So, what’s been eating at you lately?” Lorca would never see her for counselling so a conjugal visit was a good way to keep an eye on him.

“The creature that killed the Klingons on the Glenn - I had it beamed aboard to see if we could find a way to use it’s strength to our advantage.”

“So the thing that tore to shreds a horde of Klingons is on your ship? _That’ll_ end well.” Her words oozed sarcasm but she knew her disapproval would not be taken into consideration, “So how’s that going?”

“Should’ve been done by now but Burnham keeps getting distracted by its “scientific intrigue” rather than its benefits to the war effort.”

“How _inconsiderate of her_. A xenoanthropologist interested in science!” Kalista rolled her eyes.

The militant man ignored her derisive tone, “Exactly, she’s more science officer than soldier. I’ve had Landry keep an eye on her to make sure she stays on track.” 

Kalista could think of many retorts but she didn’t feel like arguing tonight so she let Lorca’s aggressive micromanaging slide. It was almost a surprise that he and Landry weren’t married yet - they were so well suited for each other, like a mean dog & her master. 

Lorca was a difficult man at best but one she knew how to handle easily. Landry was more of a thorn in her side though. The two had to behave amicably but they’d butted heads on many occasions before. She found the Commander’s passive aggressiveness more rude than authoritative and Kalista herself wasn’t one to back down from a bitch. 

With this discourse having reached its most civil end, Kalista decided to change the subject to something that wouldn’t cause more debate.

“Speaking of, I think _we_ should get on track, too.” With one graceful hand, she leaned forward gently, placing her now-empty vessel onto the glass table while with the other she clasped the sharp steel in her hair. With a single swift movement it slid smoothly out of her curls. She locked Lorca’s blue orbs in the intense gaze of her own as her hair fell onto her shoulders and rolled down her breast. The man eagerly took her queue and slipped closer to her, one hand snaking round her waist while the other stroked a chestnut strand away from her face before settling at the back of her neck. With a soft growl whispering from his chest, he pulled her into his solid body, his restless lips meeting hers. They danced with feverish mouths and tongues for only a few seconds before his fingers were deftly parting the zipper at her back. Just as it reached the supple valley of her waist and Kalista’s own hands were sliding under the Captain’s jacket, a high-pitched tone jarred them out of the moment. They froze in their motion as Lorca grumbled and answered his combadge. 

“Yes, what is it?” He sneered.

“Captain to sickbay,” Burnham sounded distressed, “Landry was attacked by the tardigrade.”

“On my way.” Lorca was up off the couch before he even finished his reply.

“Shit….” Kalista stood as well, ready to leave with the worried Captain.

“Fuck.” Lorca all but bolted for the door, “We’ll continue another time.” 

“Of course.” Only his back caught her reply as he was already speeding down the corridor. She sighed and headed back to her own quarters, alone and unsatisfied.


	5. Feather like a sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not your average counselor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two in one go so we can get some more Saru!

Landry’s death had left Lorca more bitter than ever. She was with him from the beginning - with him fiercely when others weren’t - and he felt as if her blood was pooling in his palms, remembering her face being covered by the white sheet under the white light of a white medical bay. Anger and disappointment - in the waste of a good officer and in himself - festered in the dark crevices of his chest like a volley of arrows wedged in his ribs. The sharp weight was uncomfortably distracting, pulling his mind to unproductive places. It was time to pull out the arrows and leave this mess behind.

When the troubled Captain arrived at the gym his First Officer was already waiting obediently for him. Prey or not, Saru’s physical strength was far greater than any other crew member on board which meant one thing - Lorca didn’t have to hold back. His less frequent sleep schedule also meant they could spar at night, when the facility saw few visitors. There were only two other people present aside from them and both were focused intensely on their own regimes.

“Good evening, Captain.” Saru bowed his head cordially, tentatively waiting for his superior’s next move. The Kelpien was not fond of sparring because while he could take the full power of his crewmates’ attacks, he had to administer a far more gentle hand or their session would end in an untimely visit to sickbay. Wrangling with the Captain was always the most uncomfortably delicate of situations - Lorca may take a hit well but he was still the commanding officer of the ship and respect was a difficult thing to adhere to in the middle of a mismatched fight.

“Thank you for coming on short notice, Commander,” Lorca threw his towel onto the bench against the wall and took his place on the sparring mat, “Shall we begin?”

The Kelpien nodded, squatting in a low strong stance with defensive hands in front of him as Lorca drew a similar pose. The two poised men circled like vultures, eyes unwavering. Lorca’s agitation lashed out first, striking his First Officer. The attack was easily blocked, returned and blocked again. They tousled for a few minutes, trading blows and blocks as it were a routine. Eventually the heated man’s resentfulness left him blind to a long leg coming from the side and his back firmly acquainted itself with the floor, a thud and an “ _oof_ ” echoing softly around the padded interior. Saru stifled the guilt of his successful attack as Lorca bounced onto his feet, shaking off the ache between his shoulder blades. Though there was little he relished more than a win, the Captain soon realised that a few rough meetings with the floor due to his sloppy attention was a worthy trade for letting his anger bubble over and out, draining from his mind. His attacks were more wild, frenzied and ultimately unsuccessful than usual though the general lack of restraint still tugged at Saru’s nerves. He dared to allow Lorca a few wins though he played them off subtly, knowing the Captain would be angry if he was aware of the charity.

The hiss of the door and a toned pair of legs roused the pair from their battle.

“Good evening - Captain, Commander.” Kalista strode into the gym and tossed her towel onto the bench with the other two, “Who’s winning?” 

“The Commander makes for a good challenge.” Lorca wiped the beading sweat off his brow with the back of his hand, jutting out his chest just a fraction more.

“In that case, Commander, perhaps you would like a challenge yourself?” She shot the Captain a wicked smirk then turned her gaze questioningly at Saru. He took in her stature - small even by non-Kelpien standards. 

“Don’t fall for it, Mr Saru.” Lorca scoffed, crossing his arms, “She’s a telepath - she’ll know your next move the second you think it.”

“I promise I won’t use any tricks.” Kalista circled round the men, her priggish gaze centreing on the taller of the two. She kicked her sneakers off the side of the mat and took a crouching stance two metres from the startled Kelpien. 

“Be my guest.” Lorca waved a dismissive hand as he vacated the mat, leaning up against the far wall to watch. _This should be interesting_ , a bemused grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“Are you sure, Counsellor?” Saru’s face was coloured with equal parts shock and worry, “I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”

Her laugh rang like windchimes and even the other two crewmen in the gym were now watching, slaves to their curiosity.

“Land a strike before you start worrying.” There was far too much smugness coming from such a petite body - one that belonged to a medical staff member, no less. She unfurled her arm towards Saru, beckoning him to approach with a “come hither” finger and a raise of her brow. Cautiously, he took his position opposite her. The two began to surround each other like hawks preparing to dive. Seconds lingered agonisingly to the spectators as Kalista awaited her opponents first move. The Kelpien’s gut was clenched unpleasantly tight and eventually the uncertain anticipation coaxed him to break the stand-off and swipe a steely long arm at her ribs. 

It happened in only a brief moment. 

She moved as if she were in dance. Before skin had the faintest chance to meet skin, she twirled around his limb like wind through lush canopies, coming behind him and delivering a swift and surprisingly powerful knee to the back of Saru’s own. The firm sparring mat now had the pleasure of befriending the Kelpien’s astonished face.

A slow applause and a short snicker oozed from the Captain’s corner, “I warned you, Commander.”

A hand intercepted the horizontal alien’s vision and he followed the wrist up to the arm and to a pair of fiery black eyes that held the unmissable hint of an apology as she shrugged at him. He took Kalista’s hand as she pulled him up though he hardly needed her assistance. Despite her limbre combat, she still didn’t possess the strength to lift his far greater body weight. 

His long form rose in contrast to his diminished fear as the Betazoid didn’t skip a beat getting back into stance. He mimicked her movements and their tango began again though this time he was mostly free of concern for her welfare and was more prepared. 

Cautiously, she stalked closer like a lioness eyeing her prey, darting out to slap at Saru’s front hand. It was more challenge than attack and he fell into the trap like plunging down a 10 metre precipice. His clawed fingers enclosed around her slender wrist as it tried to dart back. As he stepped into her she swung down forcing him to continue his forward momentum as she flung herself between his legs - weaving thread through the eye of a needle and sliding out behind him in a low lunge. His body helplessly tumbled behind her and he was sent careening into a full somersault, landing hard on his back and releasing her wrist with an involuntary loud click of his jaw.

“Come on, I know you can get me.” Her voice was soft, encouraging. It glowed against the fierceness of her violent skill. Where a counselor had learned such effective combat he could not guess but through her cutthroat movements whispered the familiar breeze that always tried to lift him up. 

They stood together as his sharp features hardened, feeling eight pairs of eyes crawling up his skin. He was determined to remain upright this time.

Like an obelisk and a housecat they skirt each other - watching for a window, waiting for sudden movement. The muscle in her leg twitches every so slightly and she strikes first, hard and fast. The length of his limbs gives him an effective shield but she still dodges his counterattack with practised grace. They go around again, silence hanging heavy in the room tainted only by the faint beat of bare feet and hooves on soft ground. His turquoise eyes are keen as a vigilant stag and he catches a slight glimmer beneath the skin of her thigh. He grabs her right arm as her fist flies forward, swinging her onto the ground at his feet. She lands with a dull thud, all air escaping her lungs in a single harsh breath. The other two crewmen give a little cheer and the Captain nods, impressed.

Saru looks down at her laying at his hooves but his panic doesn’t get a chance to rise as she starts laughing beneath him.

“Good!” Kalista beams at him, grin nearly slicing her flushed face in half. She jumps back up and is poised again, energy rising around, thrilled to finally have a real challenge.

They continue their routine for nearly 20 minutes, lost in the movements of their dance, exchanging hands and legs and trips to the ground. Their fight becomes increasingly playful as even Saru emerges from his timid shell to goad her a little between matches. She seemed to feed off the banter even though she already had a slight lead to him. They were almost evenly matched however and he was glad to not have to be as restrained as he was accustomed to, despite her deceiving appearance.

Their audience eventually faded away, turning their attention to their own activities. Lorca sparred briefly with the security officer that was there before retiring to his quarters. 

Doors slide close and Saru notices the gym is now empty aside from them. His distraction leaves a gap in his defense and Kalista wastes no time taking advantage, hooking a foot around his left hoof and sweeping his legs out from under him. His shoulders hit the mat first, followed by his narrow hips and gangly legs. Frustrated clicks scurry from his mouth.

“Should've kept your eyes on me.” Kalista tuts flicks her silky chestnut curls over her shoulder and turns to take her place at the far side of the mat again. With her back now to the Kelpien, she doesn’t see his cloven hoof hurtling into the side of her ankle just before she’s out of reach. She hisses at the sharp sting in the base of her fibula as she joins him on the ground face first. 

“Should've kept your eyes on _me_.” Saru echoes Kalista’s taunt, tearing a fit of giggles from her as she rolls onto her back.

They lay side by side on the mat, chests heaving and breath staggered. 

“Shall we call it a draw?” It was definitely not a draw for Saru had been counting but the score was her way of calling a truce for the night. He nodded and picked himself up off the ground, reaching out a hand to her. She grabbed it and he pulled her up as if she were weightless, marvelling at how this feather of a person had proved such a formidable foe. 

Kalista slipped her shoes back onto her feet and the two friends exited the unoccupied gym, meandering down the halls to their quarters with a comfortable quiet between them as their bodies succumbed to feel the physical exhaustion of their combat. 

“You know you’re the first person on this ship to actually beat me. You’re a good fighter. I enjoyed having a challenge.” The door of her quarters was closest and they stopped before them. 

“It’s not often I am challenged either,” Saru smiled down at her, a little coy from the compliment - a shyness she was becoming increasingly partial to teasing, “I enjoyed it as well.” 

“Well I’m going to go and collapse in bed after that. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Sleep well, Kalista.” 

Doors whispered closed behind them as they disappeared into their respective quarters. Tired and slicked with sweat, Kalista peeled off her damp clothes, desperately missing the luxury of running water. The sonic shower left her clean but thoroughly unsatisfied as she stood bare over the bench, carefully dripping medicated oil into the reservoir of her vape before a darkness in the mirror caught her eye. She looked up and noticed a large purple and yellow bruise painted over her hip like a Monet. Delight flashed in her black orbs as she dashed into the other room to retrieve her PADD. She returned to the foggy bathroom, twisting in the mirror to get a good angle and took a close up of the mark, mindful to leave out any untoward detail if only to spare the soon-to-be-recipient from the cardiac arrest he would probably have should the crop of her image be more careless. 

  
_A trophy. - K_

A minute later she was unable to ignore the sudden jolt of shock that burst into her awareness, followed by the ding of her PADD shortly after.

  
_I sincerely apologise! I should not have been so careless with you! - S_

Kalista chuckled at the screen. She couldn’t help being endeared by Saru’s incessant worrying and extreme proclivity towards gentleness despite his size. 

  
_Relax Saru, I can feel your stress from here. I’m enjoying the bruise - it’s the mark of a good fight. We should do this more often. - K_

The storm cloud of worry passed gradually without rain and receded back into the mind from where it came, leaving her with only her content self.

  
_I look forward to it, as long as you’re sure you’re not hurt. I forget that you bruise far easier than I do. - S_

  
_Maybe I should try harder next time and return the favour. - K_

  
_You couldn’t even if you tried. - S_

Her favourite state of his would have to those fleeting far-between moments when Saru was actually cocky. They came so rarely but were always so lilted with a taunting arrogance that was in such extreme contrast to his usual timid modesty. When they first became acquainted such a demeanour from him would be unheard of but now it was a sign of his comfort in her presence.

  
_You haven’t seen me try, yet. - K_  


She smirked to herself from under the covers before turning out the lights and falling into a deep restful sleep.


End file.
